Reflections

Like most animals, my Grace has her own schedule, influenced by mine, of course. Sometime between 5:00 AM and 7:00 AM, she sticks her wet nose in my eyeball or whines to be let out for her morning constitutional. These days, that means it's likely still dark out when we trek out to the back yard for her to leave her calling card.

Since I've been making a habit of meditation and am training myself to just be present in the moment, I try to remember to take that moment of waiting for her to be done, and I look up. This time of year, the moon is still up. The brighter stars and a planet or two are still visible, even through L.A.'s light pollution. The drone of the freeway is quieter at that hour, though it's never silent. L.A. is a busy, twenty-four hour town, after all. Even during a pandemic.

I pull a deep breath into my lungs. As I breathe it out, I breathe out gratitude and appreciation.

I remember I'm grateful for the vision to see the moon and stars, and the clouds drifting by. Grateful to hear the first chirps of the morning birds and the hum of hummingbird wings. Grateful to be able to witness and feel the softness of the morning air, whether it's L.A. winter cold or summertime warm.

Sometimes thought intrudes. This morning, the last morning of the year, made me think of departed friends. Some passed away, far too young to be leaving this planet. I miss them.

A couple removed themselves from my life. While the latter caused some pain, I discovered within myself the ability to wish them well and continue on. I've been through the deliberate destruction of my life by people who were closest to me; after that, these kind of losses don't have quite the sting they would have.

I reflected that all in all, I'm pretty lucky, and in spite of the twists and turns of the most toxic year in my memory, somehow I managed to fall forward instead of backwards. I gained ground and experience this year.

I produced a proof-of-concept short, pulling together a film crew when I've never done it before, and made the necessary deadlines. I did it while maintaining my regular duties and I had fun doing it! My boss, a VFX legend with four Oscars and many other awards, believed in me enough to give me the responsibility, which tells me I must be doing something right. Since then, I learned a new program to track where we were in the process of adding the new technical processes and coordinated with a foreign VFX house for the first time. I had guidance, of course, and am truly grateful for the patient explanations to my questions. I'm a little old to be starting on a new career path, but everyone involved answered questions and treated me like a colleague with decades more experience than I have. And they were pleased with the work I did!

I started making ceramics in earnest, again, and sold out of all of my sculptures. I only have three jack-o'-lanterns left. I'm a little more than halfway in saving up for a new kiln to replace the one I had to sell when I moved to L.A. For being a plague year and thus being unable to attend any shows, I did really well. Old fans of my work came back to get their fix and I even have some new ones! This was the first time someone told me they bought a piece of furniture to display my work, year-round!

I got to witness the convergence with my dad. I got to spend a lot of time with him, and I am so very grateful for that! I feel lucky that none of us caught the 'Rona. I'm hoping that we can avoid the new strain, too.

I keep making strides forward. I'm educating myself on investing with the help of a financial planner. I keep falling into great opportunities and I'm pretty sure that whatever curve balls 2021 brings, that particular form of good fortune will continue. I'm open to good things and people in my life, and I'm learning, learning, learning!

I hope that 2021 brings you what you need!