Grandin Road has a genuine witch's broom (only $9!) for the gal who has everything. On sale, of course. And there's a glitzy set of velvet pillows ($11 each) for your dark boudoir. The prices there are pretty good right now, as I feel Grandin Road is overpriced the rest of the year.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Halloween, I mean, CHRISTMAS presents
Grandin Road has a genuine witch's broom (only $9!) for the gal who has everything. On sale, of course. And there's a glitzy set of velvet pillows ($11 each) for your dark boudoir. The prices there are pretty good right now, as I feel Grandin Road is overpriced the rest of the year.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Bloodsucking Fiends
Christopher Moore, it seems, shares my sense of humor.
Bloodsucking Fiends, A Love Story is a witty take on the vampire legend. Moore addresses the question, "How come all vampires are old and rich?" The answer is, when they're first made, they're not. Made in the modern day, with modern values, they wind up learning the lesson they should have before they died: Money isn't everything.
C. Thomas Flood moves to San Francisco with dreams of becoming a famous writer. He finds lodging with five illegal Chinese men, meets the Emperor of San Francisco, and secures a night-shift job at the local supermarket, where he can bowl frozen turkeys with the best of them. Enter Jody, and the vampire. *Dramatic music swells*
Read this. It's a holiday weekend, and you know you need to hide from your in-laws, anyway. And then, pick up the sequel, You Suck. These books are full of engaging characters and are great stories that suck you in and grab you by your funnybone.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Grande Illusions
The man is 62 years old, and he still can scare the crap out of us. In an age where Hollywood (and our culture) worships youth and throws away our most experienced workforce, the fact that he is still "allowed" to be active is a miracle. Thank goodness for miracles!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thankful
Thanksgiving is a day away. It's our day to give thanks for what we have and gorge ourselves into a food coma.
Here are two people I'm thankful for. We went for cocktails Monday night and they came up with the brilliant idea of going to Apple Hill the next day, do some wine tasting and grab a pie. We had a blast, and since girls talk about, um, interesting things, we were cracking other people up along the way. I'm glad we could spread some Holiday Cheer.
I'm thankful for these two for making my move from my hometown of 39 years easier, and making me feel like one of the girls.
Thanksgiving is also a time I'm thankful for what I didn't get, or don't have anymore.
I'm thankful that I divorced husband #1 and #2, so that when Mr. ShellHawk came along, I would be available and know the difference between being married and being happily married. Another bonus: I topped my personal best in "length of marriage." Personal best never made it past three years; it's four and a half, now. Whoopee! (I'm also glad I chose NOT to go to my local pub that night and went to the one in Santa Monica to meet a friend for dinner, because I met him in Santa Monica and never would have if I'd gone to the other place. I'm also glad that when he left his ex and he had a choice of turning left to L.A. or right to Oklahoma City, that he chose left.
I'm thankful for the jobs I didn't get in this job search I'm on. I found out later that one doctor has a reputation of being verbally abusive to his staff (And what a shock! They're underpaid, too!), and I would have had to work Saturdays (and be away from my hubby) for another job. I hate working Saturdays.
On that note, I'm glad I got downsized from my last job, because of the stress that shouldn't have been a part of the job in the first place. And I get to work on other projects so maybe I won't have to go back into dentistry, if I'm lucky.
I'm thankful I don't live in L.A. anymore. For more reasons than I can count.
I'm sure you have your own list. Take a moment to reflect on what you got, and didn't get.
Happy Thanksgiving, dear Reader.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Ghost House Underground
You know where this is going, right?
Ghost House Underground is a series of (so far) eight independent horror films brought to you by the makers of 30 Days of Night (which I liked) and The Grudge. I picked them up at the video store yesterday because I hadn't heard of them and thought I'd give a couple of them a shot.
Dance of the Dead is a film that has pretensions of being a teenage Shaun of the Dead. They really should have studied both comedy and the zombie genre a bit more. Plot: A town that is next door to a nuclear power plant suffers a zombie invasion due to a long-term leak of said power plant into the local cemetery and the town. And it happens on prom night.
Review: Slow, not very funny, and the zombies moved too fast. Oh, did I mention they are hypnotized by live rock music? Sort of like the yodeling in Mars Attacks kills the Martians, only rock music isn't deadly to zombies. Has potential, but falls short.
Dark Floors. I was really hoping this would be better, and at first, it was. Then they ran out of imagination. Then, it was painful to watch.Plot: An autistic little girl is in the hospital for yet another battery of tests by the clueless medical profession. Dad gets tired of it and decides to take her home from the hospital that very night. They get stuck in between floors and when the doors re-open to (of course) the sixth floor, strange occurrences occur. Blah, blah, blah. The very end of the movie felt random to me (No spoilers. If I had to sit through every grueling minute of this, so do you, my dear reader.), and the idea formed in my head that the writer pulled it out of his little Finnish shorts.
Maybe I'm too harsh on this one. It's a good movie for night of friends and cocktails. The monsters and the gore are impressive, as are the visual effects. And, anyway, don't we all suffer from the idea that we can write better horror? It's easy to criticize when we haven't trotted our dreck out there for the world to see.
I will rent the others. I am looking forward to the next generation of horror film makers; their birth, their evolution, their new take on the old story. I look at these films as student films, showing great potential. When these students pull focus and get a few years under their belts... Well, watch those bat wings unfurl, 'cause these guys are gonna fly.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Well, it's got SOME rat in it.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Necromance
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Halloween How-To
I'm still delaying the removal of Stewie's arms and possibly head for storage. Will there be reprisals from Stewie and his little brothers, Brian and Peter? Maybe the muttering in the Garage of Doom isn't Mr. Shellhawk, but the three of them plotting... You see my dilemma, don't you?
Note, by the way, the large waders sitting on the Mighty Dodge. And the spreading stain of transmission fluid beneath it. (Someone "rebuilt" the transmission only a year and a half ago, before I drove the Dodge to Northern California and our new home. Don't get me started on all the "repairs" I've paid for that have turned out like this.) The large waders, thankfully, aren't mine, and are one of the numerous items that need putting away. I'm undecided on the transmission fluid slick. Any donations to The Mighty Dodge Restoration fund will be appreciated. (Kidding. A little.)
Since today will be a busy day, cleaning and organizing the Garage of Doom (which will involve a trip to Goodwill to get rid of my 50 gallon fishtank) I'll make this a quick post.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Making a Monster
First published in 1965, Dick Smith's Do-It-Yourself Monster Makeup Handbook in now in its fifth printing, with an introduction from the also-legendary Rick Baker (Hellboy, The Ring).
Dick takes you through each effect step-by-step, and there are plenty of clear reference pictures. He also has an appendix of makeup supply you may need. This book is easy to read, easy to understand, and very likely to help scare the crap out of the darling little kiddies at Halloween. If you have children of your own, you'll be able to make them up into some pretty cool little monsters. I guess their outsides will reflect their insides, then. Heh.
You can find a copy of it at http://www.monstermakers.com/, a site which is also worth a surf for monster folks like ourselves. You can find Dick Smith's official website here. You can take a basic or advanced course in monster makeup from his site, too. Explore, people!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
In Your Own Backyard
Now, the light wasn't ideal in the photographic sense. It wasn't the fabled "golden hour" (which wouldn't have done any good anyway, because my backyard is in shade by sundown), and in all honesty, I'm not a photographer and I don't have the slightest idea how to set an f-stop. Whatever that is. (I suppose I'll have to read a book sometime soon, if I'm to be posting pictures with this much regularity! In my spare time, of course...)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Trick or Treat Prank
Enjoy!
P.S. If you click on "White Lines" on my Shaun of the Dead review, you'll actually come up with the scene I mentioned. The clip had been removed from YouTube, and now it's back. Hooray!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Bones
We ran across this cow carcass on the ranch I mentioned in a previous blog, taking pictures on the way out. I think my honey was worried his friends would think I was odd to take pics of this even though I told them it was research photos for later.
I imagine the turkey vultures made short work of this one.
I find the bleached color fascinating. I always have this picture in my mind of bones yellowing with age, but I guess since they're in the sun, they bleach just like everything else.
This will make great reference for the '09 Halloween display.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Haunted House 101
Sunday, November 16, 2008
A Romantic Comedy. With Zombies.
This morning, after my sweetie got done with watching a DVR of Lydia's Italy, he said, "You can watch whatever you want."
"Really?"
"Sure."
Enter Shaun of the Dead, baby. Those of you who know zombie movies, know this movie. For those of you who haven't run across this movie... Where the heck have you been?
Written by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright, the 2004 release earned $3.3 million on its opening weekend, even though it had only a limited release in the U.S. Since then, it seems, Shaun of the Dead has enjoyed a cult classic status. I discovered this movie in the trailers of another movie I had rented (which also featured a trailer for Cannibal! The Musical, but I haven't been able to nab that one, yet.). I can't believe I missed it when it came out. I'm just glad that I watch trailers, sometimes.
Essentially, the story is about Shaun (Simon Pegg), an appliance salesman, who lives with his two flatmates, Pete (Peter Sarafinowicz) and Ed (Nick Frost). Shaun's main interest in life is to go to his favorite pub, the Winchester, every night, much to the dissatisfaction of his girlfriend, Liz (Kate Ashfield). After Liz dumps Shaun, Ed takes Shaun to the Winchester to drown his sorrows, leading into one of the funniest scenes ever in the zombie genre. The song "White Lines," will never be the same for me.
I won't go into the plot any further, but be assured that the comic team of Nick Frost and Simon Pegg will keep you laughing in this great send-up of the traditional zombie movie, or shall I say, movie about the "mobile deceased?" Pegg recently called for a return to zombie values here.
By the way, if you like Nick Frost, you can see him in a series of vignettes called Man Stroke Woman here. Those in the know, will know that Frost and Pegg teamed up for another send-up (this time of the buddy action flick) in Hot Fuzz. Great double feature for Sunday morning.
For tips on surviving a zombie attack, click here. And stay away from bloody, slow-moving people.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Fall Images
My husband kidnapped me the other day to get me out of the house. As it was a sunny, comfortable 75 degrees out, I went. He took me to a site his company is monitoring for a rare salamander (long story), and this oak tree is on the property. I would guess it's at least 150-200 years old.
In fact, when we poked around the dead branches lying at the foot of the tree, we found that by peeling back the bark, we could see how many acorns had been swallowed up by the tree. One branch had at least 20 acorns inside it.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Opportunity Regained
For instance, I knew Tony Bennett's piano player, Ralph Sharon. I had always wanted to play piano. Did I ask if he would teach me? No. Opportunity lost. I lived not too far away from artist Mike Vosburg (Wiki link) and if I had asked, he would have tutored me in art. Did I ask? No. Chris Mankovsky, faux artist. Did I ask? No. Izzy Mankovsky, her husband and cinematographer. Didn't ask. My DAD, for crying out loud! Did. Not. Ask.
What a freakin' idiot.
So when I found out my last boss' spouse had a bronze foundry, and was teaching a weekend class on sculpture, I decided to change my history and go. (I won't give you the name of the foundry, because, honestly, I'm still miffed at getting laid off, and I almost didn't get unemployment. Petty? Maybe. I'm not sorry, though.)
In August, I took a weekend away from building Stewie and went to my first sculpting class. I learned a bit about the lost wax process, and after lunch, we were given some wax and told to have at it. Any help asked for was given, and I have to say, I really enjoyed it and my teacher.
After a day and a half, I had my very first sculpture. I picked it up as a finished bronze two days ago. While it won't be in the Louvre any time soon, and I can see numerous things I would change if I had the skill and experience, I'm still really pleased with the way it turned out. More than anything, I'm proud of myself that I changed my habit of letting opportunity slide by without a peep.
I don't know. Maybe it's turning 40 that made me ask. Maybe I've worked through whatever issue it was that held me back. Whatever it is, I have tangible proof that I can change, even at my age.
I give you The Water Woman.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Making Stewie, Part 2
At this point, Stewie had been papier mached with newspaper strips and a mix of Elmer's glue and water. I had added his ridges and bumps, some vein/vines on his chest, and a wicked grin. Now for the next step: carpet glue and shop towels.
For those of you unfamiliar with "corpsing" techniques, SpookyBlue has a great tutorial here. I want to stress how important it is for you to tear all the sharp edges off your shop towels before you use them for this. I spent an hour or so just tearing edges and creating different-sized strips before I even opened up my carpet glue. I also bought several boxes of latex exam gloves to protect myself from the sticky carpet glue.
I laid down two layers of carpet glue and shop towels, taking a toothpick to the tinier areas around the corners of his eyes and mouth to poke the shop towel around the edges. I seem to remember a lot of cursing and grumbling while I was going through this phase, as the carpet glue really does stick to everything. I went through a lot of gloves because eventually, the glue would start drying on the gloves and creating strings that would stick my fingers together. It was also the week we had 100+ degree weather, and I'm pretty certain that had an effect on the drying time of the glue.
After each layer of carpet glue and shop towel, I took a 2" chip brush (known in the industry as, "cheap brush") and painted a thin layer of carpet glue over Stewie's entire form. This is an important step, as it will prevent the texture of the shop towels from messing up your paint job (and cover up the "made" look, as opposed to creating the illusion of "grown in Hell's pumpkin patch") later on. I love chip brushes. They're perfect for this task, because once they get too gummed up, you toss them.
Once I finished that, it was time to add the stalk. I really wanted it to look very "root-y," and I needed to add some counter weight to Stewie's forward lean. I made the main stalk out of chicken wire, and after some thought, added a second chicken wire stalk down his back as a counter weight. After that, I added rolled-up newspaper wrapped in duct tape, and taped rolled-up paper towels wrapped in duct tape to the ends of those, so I had a gradual reduction in the thickness of his roots.
I added arms, made out of PVC and screwed to his shoulders. For "muscles," more newspaper. I was starting to run out of time, so after I made the hands and got them screwed on, I added several different sizes of plastic tubing to create more vine-like details on his arms. All these details got the shop towel/carpet glue treatment again. And once again, two layers, with a brushing of carpet glue in between layers.
The hands took a while to make. My husband suggested really long, root-y fingers. I had started the pumpkin patch in the front yard (alas, too late for the pumpkins to be ripe in time for Halloween) and thought this would be a great way to tie him in to the suggestion that he had grown there. Wrapping each separate finger took forever, and my fingers were sore from the duct tape attempting to yank my skin off and from wrapping each finger so tightly.
After that, it was all in the paint job.
I used exterior house paint, getting a couple of gallons of "oops," or mis-mixed paint at Lowe's and OSH in different colors for my primer and my first sponged-on layer of green. Unfortunately, nobody had the decency to make mistakes in the shades of orange I needed for my final two layers, so I had to go to Home Depot and get two quarts mixed of two different shades of orange. I chose a darker orange for my first orange layer, and then an orange several shades lighter to dry brush the highlights in. I also added a little glow in the dark paint, though it didn't show up all that well. After all that dried for a couple days, I added two layers of clear waterproofing sealant, some black feathers in his mouth to suggest he eats his crows instead of scaring them, and the terror of the pumpkin patch was done!