2017, I'm Not Ready.

This extremely unflattering
picture shows I would like
to have humor about my
imperfections. And maybe
punch someone.

I'm just not. 

I'm turning older in March. Not ready for that, though I'm not freaking out about it.

I haven't done what I wanted to do with my life, quite yet. (I'm still deciding what that is by the way, so please, don't judge me!) 

I still say the wrong things and get in trouble because of my mouth. (Still. Damn it!) I mean well, I really do, but there are still those horrifying moments where I just try to see what my mouth is saying at the same time it's saying what it's saying and thinking, "No! Don't! You can't---! Oh, shit. You did. You really did." *face palm*

And man, there are so many things I want to do, I'm dizzy with it! But this is the time I need to settle myself and breathe, and focus on what is really important to me.

Don't get me wrong. 2016 was a really rough year, personally, but it wasn't all bad.

I had the great opportunity to go to the Stanley Hotel, which was a major bucket list item!











I also got to go to Cancun and Kauai, which was a blast. I got to see old friends in Portland, Oregon. I had the opportunity to go to a great ceramic art show and speak with some very talented artists. I got to see family and friends. I had a whole doggone year without a surgery! YES!!!

And I did make some personal strides forward, but -- and many of you will recognize this about yourselves -- somehow I feel like I fell short of my expectations of myself.

I'm pretty sure everyone feels this way from time to time, especially this time of year. Maybe you (like me) didn't lose the weight you wanted to, or you didn't commit to your plan for world domination, or something like that. I keep telling myself that it's o.k. I'm not dead, yet (escaping the 2016 Death Race was an accomplishment all on its own, so I count it as a win!), so I can keep on working on myself and my other goals. It's not too late.

 A friend mentioned to write down my goals and then figure out where they stand on my priority list. I'm still working on it, and I feel cautiously positive about it. The cautious part of me is the part who's afraid of failure. I'm reminding myself that I overthink things, and to just keep going. To have some courage, because really, I'm not going to be executed for not achieving my goals or desires. (Why are we always so damn dramatic about this?)

And I'm reminding myself that in spite of all of my failures -- real and imagined -- I'm still falling forwards more than backwards. Inch by inch, things improve. I am on an adventure, and it is, overall, pretty amazing.

Yes, I really do have to remember when to just shut my mouth, but sometimes, what comes out is kind and helpful. I know that will get better with practice.

One of the things I noticed I could improve was my charitable giving. I noticed that I was, quite frankly, stingy with giving money to causes I supported. And I decided to change that, right away.

I believe in them, sure. I sign petitions which don't seem like they're just a crazy waste of time. But giving? Not as good as I wanted. Because I don't make loads of take-home cash after I donate to my retirement, it was easy to excuse not giving to what mattered to me.

So I went back to my last post and chose three separate charities I wanted to give to, and for two of them, I set up a monthly schedule of support. It's not loads of cash, but I know that every little bit helps, and that they need it, regardless of how large or small the donation is. And really, it's not going to break me. Will I need more time to save for things I want for myself? Sure. But, honestly, aside from improving my studio, I really don't need a whole bunch more "stuff." I can live without a wind spinner or another wind chime, honestly.

I'll continue to make changes, as incremental as they may be. The New Year gives us all an excuse to stop and take inventory, so we can see what changes are important to us.

Happy New Year, Gang! Here's to some positive change!

Last-Minute Tax Deductions

So in yesterday's post, I had actually meant to list some organizations you might think about donating to before the end of the year. But then I got sad all over again about David Bowie and Alan Rickman, so I didn't.

My personal goal for the next four years is to pay as little tax as I legally can. Part of that goal is to choose organizations which are important to me and to Mr. ShellHawk, and to help them survive what is going to be a rougher time than they do, already. We're not part of the 1%, or even the 20%, but we've been fortunate in many ways, and helping out worthy causes is important to us. So I started getting a list together of organizations both in the United States and abroad. There are many more worthy charities than I can list

I want to make it clear that I haven't vetted all of these to see how much goes to admin costs vs. getting to where they need to go, so if one of them takes your fancy, look into it very carefully to see if it's where you can make your donation do the most good. Also verify if you will get a tax deduction here in the U.S., if that's a huge drive for you.

A Kenyan Wildlife Ranger, fighting against the illegal ivory trade.

I was reading this article by The Guardian about the lives of wildlife rangers in Africa and around the world. These are guys who are doing everything they can to prevent poachers from exterminating entire species for ivory and other "prizes" sought by morally bankrupt people with more money than conscience. It's an extremely dangerous job. So dangerous, that over the last ten years, 1000 have been killed by poachers. These rangers get very little recognition or compensation for risking life and limb, yet they keep on going. To support them and their families, head over to The Thin Green Line and make a donation.

If you love elephants and are concerned about their dwindling numbers, take a look at this list of charities promoting conservation of elephants and discouraging the ivory trade. Personally, I like the idea of getting in there and kicking some serious poacher ass in order to save these majestic creatures.

If the oceans are your thing, my personal favorite protectors are the dedicated people at Sea Shepherd. These people put themselves between the wildlife they're protecting and those who use it for financial gain. I like them because they're out there, doing, instead of talking about it.

Closer to home, if you're into space exploration and want to support the science behind it, you might want to donate to The Planetary Society, whose CEO is none other than Bill Nye, the science guy! Since it seems we're in a society which actively discourages the sciences, I like the thought of nurturing new science and technology.

Along those lines, you can also donate to the Union of Concerned Scientists, who promote renewable energy, sustainably grown food sources, study climate change and other things.

Other organizations:

• NPR National Public Radio
• Natural Resources Defense Council
• International Refugee Assistance Project
• NAACP Legal Defense Fund
• V-Day, which helps to end violence against women
• Center for Reproductive Rights
• The Trevor Project, which helps the LGBT community
• The Boys and Girls Clubs of America
• Earth Justice
• Defenders of Wildlife Right now there's a 2-for-1 match. And they're trying to save Idaho's wolves from being wiped out.

And here's another list to look into.

I believe with all my heart that all of us have something to give, even if it's only $5. And I believe that spreading kindness is what we need now, more than ever.