More Pumpkin People? Yes, Please!

I've been working on these little pumpkin people to add to my jack-o'-lantern army. I'll be playing around with designs moving forward, including glaze patterns. But these are a good start and I made them so you can drop in a candle, just like my other jacks.

Of course, I made a couple of jack-o'-lanterns, too.

They've really been talking to me this season, telling me what they want their faces to be! And I don't know why, but the one on the right reminds me a little of the Mayor of Halloween Town!

Below is one of the witch hat pumpkin people, without his hat.

And I just love this last little guy! Goofy and trying so hard to be spooky!

Have I mentioned that I can't wait for the studio to open so I can fire them?

The Army Grows

On the left side, jacks for Raku. On the right, low fire for traditional, colored glazes.

The studio is supposed to open sometime in the next month or so. I'm going to see how much I can pile into their kiln!

I love having these racks for drying! They're perfect!

Here are a few jack-o'-lanterns drying slowly in the shade before getting moved to the rack you saw pictured above. If they dry a little slower, there's less chance of cracking.

Even my dad seems impressed with how the amount of Hallowe'en things has been growing! I only wish I had more time, but that will come!

Fragments of My Father

I'm taking a little side trip today to shamelessly plug my dad's new book about his relationship with his father, one of the premier chefs of his day: Fragments of My Father: Reflections on an Unfulfilled Relationship.

Before the great Anthony Bourdain was a twinkle in his father's eye, my grandfather, great-grandfather, and great uncle were creating culinary delights in Europe.

From the book description:

"Fragments of My Father" tells the story of the life of one of the 20th Century's foremost chefs, Charles Finance, as told by his son. Beginning his career as an apprentice cook at the age of 16, Charles soon acquired a depth of knowledge of the art of French Cuisine that he applied in many of Switzerland's most renowned hotels. His personal journal relates the many struggles of his early career, of his seasonal wanderings, his romance with his future wife, and of the behind-the-scenes life of a young cook. He soon rose in prominence in the Swiss culinary world and became professor of culinary arts at the Swiss School of Hotel Trades. While serving in the Swiss Army during World War II, he writes to his young wife of the trials of Army life. The life of a cook was always uncertain in those days, and in his letters Charles gives testimony to the difficult periods in his life when management of various establishments treated him shabbily. His dream was to come to the United Sates to make his own way. He eventually succeeds, but at the cost of his marriage. Now a top Executive Chef, he oversees kitchen operations in several major U.S. hotels and leads teams of American cooks to international competitions, where his leadership earns the Americans numerous 1st-place medals. After he retired in Ft. Worth, TX, , Charles devoted much of his time to breeding orchids and to being a judge at a variety of cooking competitions. He lived an extraordinary life during which he made extraordinary contributions to the culinary profession over the span of nearly half a century.

This is an engaging insight into another time and another country, and it's the story of how my dad's side of the family came to this country. You can get the Kindle edition here, and it's only $4.95. If you're looking for something different to read in quarantine, this might be something you'll enjoy!

My dad also wrote a book about my Grandmother, which should be coming out on Kindle in a few weeks. He's started to gather notes and photos for his own biography, too! I'm pretty proud of him!

A Couple Of Jacks...

For me, these little guys lend a little sense of normalcy, a little sense of rhythm of the year. I was always making new critters for my shows this time of year, and even though I can't fire them right now, it's comforting to have my hands in clay and to be able to make things which I know will make others happy.

It's humbling to know that some folks will bring these guys out yearly, like they do their Christmas decorations, and like Christmas decorations, be delighted when they come out of their box.

 And maybe, just maybe, the kids will grow up with fond memories of these faces. The faces they grew up with. The faces they associate with Hallowe'en, laughter, costumes and candy.

Knowing I made someone's Halloween memorable, makes me happy. I think that we need all the "happy" we can get, these days, don't you?

Fresh on the wheel. Shaping, trimming and carving, still to go!

I'm really grateful I had the time to develop these skills. That I had teachers who nurtured my talent. No one is truly a self-made person. Someone always invests in you, first, and brings you along. I am so very lucky I've had that in my life!

Grace

Grace is now almost a year and a half old. I never cease to be astonished at how fast puppies grow!

I mean, look how tiny she was next to Sam! Now I have a seventy-five pound puppy who still has almost a year more of growing and filling out to do.

She couldn't be more different from my beloved Sam. (We all miss him dearly, still.) Where he was chill, she's over-the-top high energy. Where he deeply desired to please you, she didn't care a whole lot, although that's changing as she gets a little more mature.

Thank goodness for doggy daycare! She gets to play with other high-energy dogs and gets to do activities she doesn't have, here at the house. I always check in with the daycare lady to see what she did during the day, and I get a full report. The other day when I picked her up, I was told that Grace's first time in the pool went really well. Too well, in fact. Apparently they had a hard time getting her out of the pool!

Jeez, I miss having a lake nearby. Getting her to swim would wear off a lot of energy and is so good for her!

It's interesting to see the different things they decide to do on their own, too. She taught herself to fetch my dad's morning paper, and she mostly gives it to me instead of running out the back door with it, anymore. She's also such a good girl with her treats!

I'm very fortunate in that I was able to take both her and Sam to work every day, and now, of course, I just take her. We have a couple of other businesses in our building, and she comes out to visit the other people from time to time. 

She's a terrible bed hog, but she is a comfort to have in bed at night. I've just learned to get ahold of the sheets before she gets into bed so I actually have them covering me!

I miss Sam every day. He was truly an exceptional boy! And while Grace does have big paws to fill, I'm more able to see her for her, and not compare her so much to him. I use similar training with her, but now I'm learning to adapt them for her specific needs. Developing a relationship with her is getting to be fun, instead of a constant challenge.

I'm interested to see who she's going to be in the coming years!

Writing Through the Pain

Pic via The List Love

Horror fans will remember when we almost lost one of our icons, Stephen King.

It was June of 1999, and as King was taking a late-afternoon walk, he was hit by a Dodge van and very narrowly escaped being killed instantly. It was one of those, "Yeah, what happened was horrible, but you could have been killed instantly if not just one, but several things had happened just a hair differently!"

I'm writing about this now, because I get notifications from The New Yorker sent to my email. From time to time, they send out links to older writings, like the article King wrote, On Impact. 

He wrote about his experience of the accident and the grueling and soul-shaking work of learning not only to walk again, but learning to write again. Typical of his writing style, it's equal parts real-life horror and humor. I think one of the funnier observations he made was that, after Bryan Smith, the man who hit him, tells the cops that he and his dog were driving to the store for "Marzes bars." 

King says, "When I hear this detail some weeks later, it occurs to me that I have nearly been killed by a character out of one of my own novels. It’s almost funny."

You can read the article for all of the details, but what really struck me was the last paragraph, specifically, the last sentence: 

"Writing did not save my life, but it is doing what it has always done: it makes my life a brighter and more pleasant place."

I've been thinking about this for the last few days. 

In the earlier days of this blog, I wrote daily, almost. It was never the most spectacular example of prose, ever, but I enjoyed it quite a lot. It gave me a place to share cool Halloween stuff and connect with a bunch of you Halloween people (many of whom are actual, real-life friends, now). I had just moved into a new town, and I hadn't made a lot of friends, yet, so it gave me another avenue to connect. It also gave me a chance to work out my thoughts and to get some insights from those of you who wanted to chime in. 

John Wolfe (may he rest in peace), of the now-defunct Season of Shadows blog, said my posts had the feeling of catharsis. He was right. This blog is my catharsis, even though life has gotten too busy to write on it daily.

But telling your truth - telling the truth - seems to be a bit of a challenge in these ever-changing times.

Case in point: The Donald. Twitter has at last started placing fact-checks beside his tweets. And the tiny-handed man-baby is, predictably, shitting his diaper and threatening to sign Executive Orders so he can continue to lie. While this would be funny if it were a sit-com, it's frightening to see the behavior of a malignant narcissist in the person of a man who has the nuclear codes.

What does that have to do with writing? With this blog?

Well, I guess for me, it brings home the importance of telling the truth and accepting responsibility for my actions, good or bad. I'm far from perfect, and I'm not always right, but I will always tell the truth on these pages. It's so much easier than the panic of having to keep track of all the lies you've told.

Those of you who have followed me for a few years, or maybe even since my first post in 2008 will have seen a lot of life happen to me. Some good things, some great things, and some incredibly painful things. I won't say "bad" because all the things which have happened to me have made me grow. They've made me more introspective and more determined, sometimes softer and more compassionate. All of it has changed me. All of it has shown me where I need to grow - good lord has it shown me where I must grow! - even if I'm kicking, crying, and screaming as it happens. Such is life. 

Writing it out has been instrumental in my healing. In my living. In watching the old parts of me die. In the contemplation of the unknowable future. In the process of rebirth.

I'll continue to write it out. 

As with Mr. King, it makes my life a brighter and more pleasant place.

WIP

In between studying new programs to advance into the VFX field, being absolutely stunned at my luck in being a part of a top-notch team of folks working on new technology (and knowing I will not ever be the smartest person in the room when working with them, which is humbling, but in a good way), I'm still able to take time to do what I love: make Halloween.

I haven't made little pumpkin guys for years, so after a couple of false starts, I managed to remember the technique necessary to put a few together.

The studio where I will be doing the firing is still closed, unfortunately. I mean, I get it, right? But I'm just impatient to get these guys fired so I can glaze them. I have to make enough to be able to rent the kiln from them, too, as they're a high-fire studio and these guys are all low-fire clay. 

I use earthenware for these mostly out of habit, honestly. When I had my studio and my kiln, firing at lower temperatures is easier on your kiln elements as well as your electrical bill. I also like low-fire because the colors you can use are so much brighter than you can use at a higher temperature range. Many of the minerals used to create color burn out in higher temperatures, so low-fire is a good choice. 

I'm using underglazes for my pumpkin guys for the time being. They're formulated to stay put, rather than flow, so if you paint pictures or designs, they stay exactly where you put them. I may or may not go over them with a clear glaze. I'm not sure, yet. We'll see how they look when they come out of the first firing.

Whenever that is... 

Planting the Garden - Better Late Than Never!

It's been a long time since I've done any gardening. It's one of the things I've missed most since I left Folsom. I've had so much stuff on my plate the last several years, I just didn't have the time to dedicate, let alone the head space.

Now, with Covid-19 potentially causing some of my and my dad's favorite veggies to be a little more scarce, I thought it might be a good time to get my hands in the dirt, again.
 
After consulting with dad about how he wanted it to look, I ordered a kit from Lowe's. It was incredibly easy to put together! The cedar boards just slid right into the pre-cut grooves in the corner pieces and all that was left to do was to fill it with dirt.

Which I ran out of. Dang it! 

I had to wait a few days until I had time to make another Lowe's run and grab a couple more bags of garden dirt. While I was there, I threw in a Sweet Pepper plant to encourage all the rest of the seeds to sprout. "See? Look at how pretty you can become! One day soon, you'll be this big!"

The next thing was to attempt to dog-proof the new planting. Anyone who's a dog owner knows just how wonderfully smelly fresh dirt and fertilizer is to a dog, almost as wonderful as rolling in a pile of stinky horse poop! Grace, my Hell Hound, is no different, and she seems to have the puppy's uncanny knack for getting into precisely the thing she absolutely, under no circumstances, should get into. This would be far too much temptation for her; a messy excavation project would be her first step!

This was a job for dad.

I have to say, my dad is pretty darn gracious about getting roped into my extra projects. It's a pleasant change to have someone who's enthusiastic about getting things done and enjoys the challenge of problem-solving!

He had some short poultry wire lying around, which we measured out and wrapped around some spare wooden posts he cut for the purpose. 

The end product wasn't too shabby!

Of course, Grace decided to just lean her head and neck on the wire to see what kind of dirt she could eat. (Insert eye-roll here.) But I think it will keep her from jumping in until the initial interesting smells die down. That usually only takes a couple of weeks. We're looking forward to all the nifty goodies we'll be getting out of our project, even when I'll have to re-plant some of them due to space!

Meanwhile, in another area of the yard are a few pots I planted with tomatoes, zucchini, and basil. 

I am really looking forward to fresh tomatoes! The store-bought ones are just never as tasty, and the flesh is just too mealy, for lack of a better word.

It occurred to me how lucky I am to still have my dad to enjoy these little afternoon projects with. I get my dry sense of humor from him, and the ability to banter back and forth with him while we were getting this done made the work go easily and with laughter. I really treasure this time with him!

So, what kind of things have you planted?

Progress!

Been keeping busy, throwing a new pumpkin army. Eventually, I'll get to the other, new ideas I've got bubbling, but for now, I'm feeling comforted by the repetition of throwing familiar forms. It's helping me to get back into the rhythm of making.

I showed my dad, who really hasn't seen me in a making cycle, and he made all the appropriately impressed dad noises. (Can I just mention how lucky I am to be spending this time with my dad?) I had to laugh when I looked at the jacks piling up, since I can't fire them until the studio I go to re-opens. Maybe I'll have enough to rent the whole kiln by that time!

Rebirth

On June 3rd, it will be three years since I had to leave my home, my studio, friends, everything I had worked hard to build. I even had to leave behind one of my dogs. It was indescribably painful. 

But time marches on. Things change. I've managed to adapt, albeit clumsily and without much grace. It was hard to fathom all the ugly, ugly things which came to light in the last three years, but somehow, I've managed to hang on and to continue the process of growth and healing. I've been so lucky to have a core group of friends to hold my hand and listen to my travails!

Now, things are truly moving forward. I've recently completed my very first stint as a producer for a proof of concept short film. And I lived through it! And the director and all the crew had a great time and were very complimentary! I never imagined myself here, in this place.

And I finally had a conversation with my dad about getting the electrical at the house upgraded to allow for a kiln. Since the house was built in 1941 and it's still all the original electrical, it's simply too outdated to accommodate a new 220 circuit safely.

Dad said that it's OK! Hooray! So now I get to start saving for a new electrical panel and a new kiln! It's going to take me a while, and it may not actually happen until next year, but at least now, I have a way to reclaim my artistic talents and skills!

It was really hard to be told that my ceramics business was one of the reasons my ex decided to disappear, particularly since he was the one who demanded I make it a business. (Ah, the moving goal posts! Gotta love being set up to fail!) It was like a kick to the gut, and the lingering after effects sucked the joy out of life for a long time.

My favorite clay, in action (the three on the right).

But now, not only do I have this very attainable goal, my very favorite clay manufacturer brought down their prices for shipping clay! Yes, it's still more than it would be if I still lived in the Sacramento area and could pick it up, myself, but I'm still super-happy about it! That clay is really plastic and forgiving, and is perfect for making stoneware and also for Raku firing. It's very versatile, and man, it's just the best thing since sliced bread!

In this crazy time of isolation and sadness, it's been a relief to have something positive to work towards!

I determined that this time, in setting up my ceramics, I would take my time and not be pressured to immediately make a profit, so when my dad pointed out that I needed to consider whether I was going to actually make it pay to have a kiln, etc., (he was being nice about it, just spitballing, as it were) I started to recognize a trigger being activated.

So we had an honest chat about it. I told him that, in all honesty, I wasn't buying a kiln so I could be profitable. I was buying it so that I could enjoy my skill as a potter and a sculptor. I think my exact words were, "Do I have to make a profit in order to justify doing what I do best?" And I told him that what I wanted to do is to expand my skills, to study ceramics and apply my knowledge to making my pieces better and more interesting. To give myself the opportunity to just explore, rather than have to immediately be commercially appealing. (You never know for sure that anything you make will be commercially appealing, anyway!)

I also mentioned something another friend of mine, who is not American or Anglo, said:

"That's you Crazy White People, taking the happiness out of life with always having to have more, make more money! Why do you guys always have to ruin it for yourselves? Just have fun!"

So while yes, I do want to continue to sell my pieces (you can buy them here) so that I can offset my costs, I don't really want that to be my driving force. I want to have fun with it again. I want to feel the sheer joy of creating!

And boy, oh, boy! Do I have some fun new ideas!