Opportunity Regained

This year has been one of introspection for me. I suppose it has something to do with turning 40, looking back and asking (in the words of the Talking Heads), "How did I get here?"

Mind you, I love my life. I have a great husband, a beautiful home that is not being foreclosed on, and aside from having gotten laid off in the beginning of October, no stress. There are many people who can't say that, and I'm grateful that I can.

"How did I get here?" was more of a "Gee, I haven't done a lot of what I thought I would." I started to think about how the lack of a plan gave me a lack of results. I also reviewed the "missed opportunity" file in my head, and started working on my "flat forehead syndrome." You know, the one you get when you smack your palm against your forehead and make the "duh" or "d'oh" sound.

For instance, I knew Tony Bennett's piano player, Ralph Sharon. I had always wanted to play piano. Did I ask if he would teach me? No. Opportunity lost. I lived not too far away from artist Mike Vosburg (Wiki link) and if I had asked, he would have tutored me in art. Did I ask? No. Chris Mankovsky, faux artist. Did I ask? No. Izzy Mankovsky, her husband and cinematographer. Didn't ask. My DAD, for crying out loud! Did. Not. Ask.

What a freakin' idiot.

So when I found out my last boss' spouse had a bronze foundry, and was teaching a weekend class on sculpture, I decided to change my history and go. (I won't give you the name of the foundry, because, honestly, I'm still miffed at getting laid off, and I almost didn't get unemployment. Petty? Maybe. I'm not sorry, though.)

In August, I took a weekend away from building Stewie and went to my first sculpting class. I learned a bit about the lost wax process, and after lunch, we were given some wax and told to have at it. Any help asked for was given, and I have to say, I really enjoyed it and my teacher.

After a day and a half, I had my very first sculpture. I picked it up as a finished bronze two days ago. While it won't be in the Louvre any time soon, and I can see numerous things I would change if I had the skill and experience, I'm still really pleased with the way it turned out. More than anything, I'm proud of myself that I changed my habit of letting opportunity slide by without a peep.

I don't know. Maybe it's turning 40 that made me ask. Maybe I've worked through whatever issue it was that held me back. Whatever it is, I have tangible proof that I can change, even at my age.

I give you The Water Woman.